Those days of wearing tube tops are so over!

That's right ladies, the days of sexifying yourself in tight n' slinky tube tops and bandeau's are so over! It's time to retire those highly detailed, time consuming to design garments that apparently were originally a mistake (go figure!) and put them out to pasture. No, not you silly, toss those ugly, unflattering articles of clothing that for some sad reason became a staple in what I imagine to be the most tragic of closets!!

I've never had an affinity towards tube tops even at a young age. That would be thanks to Mr. Stork who apparently forgot to pack my breasts ;). Hind sight is a blessing in this case so I will be thankful. Maybe a funhouse mirror is sold with every tube top? When the lady puts it on she thinks she looks like Madonna!? Whereas I see something about as sexual as Spongebob!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ladies including your eyes. I love that you love yourself enough to think you look stunning and as a whole person I believe that you are, it's just your tube top that isn't!

The only exception to this rule might be that you're under the age of 25ish, have perfect perky breasts or amazing fake ones, zero body fat and still wear a strapless bra underneath. If you qualify, then go for it. If you don't gualify, please reconsider placing this fashion faux pas anywhere on your body!


How to Recycle your Tube Tops

- use them as dust wrags
- take in half the width of fabric and use as a girdle
- place your legs inside so you don't kick your spouse or friend for letting you wear these things!
- use them as a sun hat (to tan the top only)
- wear as neck or hand warmer
- recycle tubes into a crafty fabric chain (like you do with paper) and decorate your home
- place them around your bike tires, for color
- slide one over the toilet seat and cut a hole for woo woo... hmmm texture
- sew a long tube out of many, crawl inside and use as a summer sleeping bag
- slip over your books or grouped magazines
- stitch the bottom closed, add a handle and now you have a purse or lunch bag
- cover eyes when sleeping, fits two people even!
- place over your toaster, microwave or other kitchen appliance
- cut in half then restitch two mini tubes, now you have leg warmers
- pull down over your lamp shades to match the new fabric chain you could make
- pet sweater or mailbox cover
- cover your fire extinquisher


Seriously?...just say NO to the tube top, toss those babies to the curb, now!!

Need more tips? Visit Girl, where did you get that outfit?